Marriage counselling in Pretoria
Marriage shouldn’t feel like a cold room you both live in
Marriage counselling in Pretoria that’s focused on rebuilding connection, not pointing fingers.
Come as you are. Speak the truth. Begin again.
Rebuild Your Foundation
The strengths that brought you together are still there. They just need space again.
Restore True Communication
You’re not stuck, you’re in a story that can change. Let’s re-author the way you speak, listen, and love.
Renew Your Intimacy
Let go of surviving. Learn to be fully yourself, with each other.
“We don’t fight, but we don’t connect either.”
You’ve built a life together, but lately, it feels more like managing than relating. The spark has faded. Or maybe resentment is growing under the surface.
It’s not always big drama. Sometimes it’s the quiet tension. The missed glances. The parallel lives under the same roof.
Marriage counselling helps you pause the cycle. Not to blame, but to understand. So you can rebuild from honesty, not habit.
What is Marriage Counselling?
Even strong marriages can drift. Daily stress, past pain, or just time can create distance between you. Marriage counselling is a space where you both get heard, without interruption, without blame. It’s where old patterns can be unpacked and new ways of relating can begin.
You’ll work together to rebuild trust, bring warmth back into your connection, and create space for the relationship to feel alive again.
Marriage Counselling in Waterkloof Ridge, Pretoria
Are you experiencing any of the following?
Marriage Counselling in Waterkloof Ridge, Pretoria
Lost connection
You love each other, but it doesn’t feel the same.
Frequent tension
Most days feel more like effort than ease.
Trust wounds
Past hurts still shape the way you relate.
Parenting strain
You clash on how to raise your children.
No emotional safety
You don’t feel free to speak without being shut down.
Pulling away
One of you is trying. The other seems to have stopped.
Marriage counselling offers more than tools; it offers understanding. A space to pause, reflect, and move forward with honesty and care.
Approaches I Use in Marriage Counselling
Marriage Counselling in Waterkloof Ridge, Pretoria
I begin by listening, not just to the problems, but to the meaning behind them. Many couples feel stuck in old patterns, but those patterns often come from real hurt or disconnection. I help you slow things down so we can look at what’s really happening. Together, we’ll explore how you relate, where trust has worn thin, and what connection might look like again.
Externalising the problem
“We firstly externalise the problem. Like I said, the problem is the problem. The person is not the problem.”
“We name the problem as something that is outside the person… it means that I also will remove people from my club of life who do not belong there anymore.”Deconstructing the problem
“We will deconstruct the problem so that we can see what is actually going on. What’s the tip of the iceberg that this person is talking about — but what is really underneath the water level of this iceberg?”
Identifying hidden values and skills
“We will identify hidden values, hidden skills that this person has used before. But those skills just need a little bit of dusting off.”
“Sometimes they feel that they can’t handle it, but they’ve shown the resilience previous times.”Co-creating the alternative story
“We then go and create the new narrative. We also say it’s the alternative story. We thicken the alternative story. And the dominant problem story is not the main thing anymore, it’s all about the new stories that we focus on.”
I don’t give advice. I ask better questions.
I’m Vanessa, a narrative counsellor based in Pretoria. I serve individuals, teens, couples, and families who are ready to feel safe in their own story again. Back when I was a teacher, I loved seeing people grow, but I also saw how many of them needed something beyond skills. They needed to be heard. Not fixed. That stayed with me.
I still get chills when a client says, “I feel lighter.” Narrative counselling isn’t magic, but it can feel that way when you finally feel seen without being judged. Some say I’m the calmest person they’ve met. Others say I ask the one question they didn’t know they needed. Either way, I’m all in. I listen until the pieces make sense.
You show up. You speak. I listen. We follow your story, not a script. Slowly, you find that your past doesn’t have to define you, and your future doesn’t have to scare you.
ABOUT ME
How My Marriage Counselling Works
HOW IT WORKS
Even strong marriages hit seasons of disconnection. I help you slow down, tune in, and make room for change.
I listen to both your stories
We look at the history of your relationship, what’s worked, what hasn’t, and where the hurt sits now.
We name what’s really going on
We unpack the roles, assumptions, and old wounds that keep showing up — even when you try to move past them.
You find your way forward — together
Session by session, you’ll rebuild trust, speak more openly, and remember how to be a team again.
Frequently Asked Questions
Vanessa Crous Narrative Counselling
What’s the difference between marriage and couples counselling?
Not much in practice, the focus is still your relationship. Marriage counselling may explore longer patterns or shared history more deeply.
What if we’ve been married for years? Is it too late?
Not at all. Longstanding habits can shift when both people are ready to look at them with honesty and care.
Will we talk about the past or stay in the present?
Both. We’ll explore how the past shapes today, and what’s needed for things to feel different going forward.
What if we’ve tried counselling before and it didn’t work?
That’s okay. We’ll do things differently here. You’re not a label, you’re a story. And your story still matters.
How often should we come?
Weekly is a good start. From there, we can adjust based on your needs.
Marriage Counselling in Waterkloof Ridge, Pretoria
You don’t have to settle for distance, silence, or one more fight
Marriage counselling in Pretoria that gives you the tools, and space, to find your way back to each other.
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You’ll speak without being interrupted or judged
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You’ll finally feel like your partner is listening
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You’ll learn to talk without things spiralling
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You’ll start to feel like a team again, not opponents
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You’ll rebuild the connection, even if it feels far away right now
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You’ll have a calm, neutral space to figure things out
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You’ll stop guessing where the other stands
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You’ll hear and be heard with more understanding
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You’ll move forward, together or separately, with more clarity
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You’ll remember why you chose each other in the first place
Get in touch when you're ready
Counselling in Pretoria & Online Across South Africa
Whether you’re considering narrative counselling for the first time, booking a session for your teen, or looking for help with a family or couple dynamic, I’d love to hear from you.
If you’re not sure what you need yet, that’s okay too. Just send a message. You don’t have to have it all figured out.
- Call: 082 324 9735
- 414 Cliff Avenue, Waterkloof Ridge Ext 2, Pretoria, 0181
- Online counselling across South Africa
Last step: Press SEND. (psstttt… we just became best friends.)
This Work Is Gentle, But It Changes Lives
testimonials
Vanessa het my 18-jarige dogter met spesiale behoeftes met soveel geduld en liefde hanteer. Deur die manier wat sy werk, het sy haar vertroue ten volle gewen. Sy het absoluut ‘n passie vir wat sy doen. Baie dankie Vanessa!
Vanessa’s caring approach brought real breakthroughs. She listens with empathy, offers clear insights, and helps you make sense of difficult thoughts and emotions. Her support has not only helped me grow personally but also improved how I show up in my work and business.
Vanessa Crous Narrative Counselling
Marriage Counselling in Waterkloof Ridge, Pretoria
If you’re both still here, there’s still something worth exploring. You don’t have to figure it out alone, or in conflict.
