Relationship counselling in Pretoria
You don’t want to give up. You just want to feel close again
Relationship counselling in Pretoria for couples who miss each other but don’t know how to say it.
Not just fixing. Rewriting. Reconnecting.
See each other clearly
Make space for the real story between you, not just the conflict.
Speak so you feel heard
Work through hurt with everyday tools that build trust again.
Find your way back
Let go of blame. Grow the connection that brought you together.
“I can’t say anything without it becoming a thing.”
You try to keep the peace, but it feels like you’re tiptoeing around something unspoken. A comment, a tone, a moment that spirals. The connection you once felt now feels buried under blame or silence.
These moments don’t always come with shouting. Sometimes they show up as distance. Long pauses. Short replies. The kind of disconnection that wears you down slowly.
This space is here to name what’s really going on, and find your way back to each other.
What is Relationship Counselling?
Relationships aren’t meant to be perfect, they’re meant to be real. And real often comes with tension, silence, or misunderstandings that slowly build up. Relationship counselling offers a calm space to unpack what’s really going on beneath the surface. It helps you name the patterns keeping you stuck and make space for connection again.
You’ll learn how to listen without defence, speak without fear, and begin telling a different story, together.
Relationship Counselling in Waterkloof Ridge, Pretoria
Are any of these showing up in your relationship?
Relationship Counselling in Waterkloof Ridge, Pretoria
Conversations that go nowhere
You talk, but nothing seems to land. You both leave the conversation feeling tired, unheard, or misunderstood.
Recurring tension
A small disagreement turns into hours of silence or raised voices. It’s the same cycle, just with different words.
Growing distance
You share a home, but it feels like you live separate lives. The emotional closeness you once had now feels faint.
Wounds that linger
Old hurts come up again and again, even if you've said you're “over it.” Trust doesn’t feel steady anymore.
Different ways of showing up
Maybe one of you shuts down while the other keeps pushing for connection. You feel out of sync, unsure how to meet in the middle.
You wonder
You wonder how you got here, or if it’s even possible to feel connected again.
If these sound familiar, you’re not alone. Relationship counselling creates space for both your voices to matter, your stories to be honoured, and your patterns to shift, gently and with intention.
Approaches I Use in Relationship Counselling
Relationship Counselling in Waterkloof Ridge, Pretoria
Every couple brings their own story into the room. I don’t try to fix or advise, I listen deeply and help you unpack what’s been going on between you. I pay attention to the moments where things started to feel stuck, and together we explore what those moments mean. Through honest conversation, reflection, and small changes, you can begin to feel seen and heard again.
Externalising the problem
“We firstly externalise the problem. Like I said, the problem is the problem. The person is not the problem.”
“We name the problem as something that is outside the person… it means that I also will remove people from my club of life who do not belong there anymore.”Deconstructing the problem
“We will deconstruct the problem so that we can see what is actually going on. What’s the tip of the iceberg that this person is talking about — but what is really underneath the water level of this iceberg?”
Identifying hidden values and skills
“We will identify hidden values, hidden skills that this person has used before. But those skills just need a little bit of dusting off.”
“Sometimes they feel that they can’t handle it, but they’ve shown the resilience previous times.”Co-creating the alternative story
“We then go and create the new narrative. We also say it’s the alternative story. We thicken the alternative story. And the dominant problem story is not the main thing anymore, it’s all about the new stories that we focus on.”
I don’t give advice. I ask better questions.
I’m Vanessa, a narrative counsellor based in Pretoria. I serve individuals, teens, couples, and families who are ready to feel safe in their own story again. Back when I was a teacher, I loved seeing people grow, but I also saw how many of them needed something beyond skills. They needed to be heard. Not fixed. That stayed with me.
I still get chills when a client says, “I feel lighter.” Narrative counselling isn’t magic, but it can feel that way when you finally feel seen without being judged. Some say I’m the calmest person they’ve met. Others say I ask the one question they didn’t know they needed. Either way, I’m all in. I listen until the pieces make sense.
You show up. You speak. I listen. We follow your story, not a script. Slowly, you find that your past doesn’t have to define you, and your future doesn’t have to scare you.
ABOUT ME
How Relationship counselling Works
HOW IT WORKS
When closeness starts fading and you feel more like strangers than partners, I help you make sense of what changed, and how to reconnect with care.
I listen to both your stories
I take time to hear how you each see the relationship, the patterns you’ve fallen into, and what’s still important to you.
We name what’s really going on
We look at where things began to shift, what you’ve both been carrying, and what’s been left unsaid for too long.
You find your way forward
With gentleness and clarity, we rebuild the connection. You’ll learn how to talk honestly, listen deeply, and feel close again.
Frequently Asked Questions
Vanessa Crous Narrative Counselling
How do I know if we need relationship counselling?
If you feel stuck, distant, or misunderstood, it’s a sign something needs care. You don’t have to be in crisis to benefit from counselling.
Will you tell us if we should stay together or not?
No. I don’t take sides or decide for you. I help you both speak honestly and understand what the relationship is asking for.
What if only one of us feels the connection is fading?
That happens often. We’ll explore both perspectives and look at what’s really going on beneath the surface.
Will we be doing exercises or just talking?
Mostly, we talk, but I may offer reflections or tools to support the changes you want. Everything is done at your pace.
How many sessions does it usually take?
Some couples feel a shift after a few sessions. Others stay longer. We decide together what feels right.
Relationship Counselling in Waterkloof Ridge, Pretoria
Find Your Way Back To Each Other
Relationship counselling in Pretoria that helps you reconnect in a steady, safe, and neutral space. If the connection feels distant, but the care is still there, this space can hold both.
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You’ll have space to speak without being interrupted or blamed
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You’ll be gently guided back to the deeper conversations that matter
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You’ll start to feel like you’re working as a team again, not against each other
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You’ll learn to talk without it spiralling into conflict
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You’ll feel less like housemates and more like partners again
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You’ll be heard clearly, even if it’s been quiet for a long time
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You’ll begin to repair the trust and warmth that’s still there beneath the silence
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You’ll feel emotionally safe enough to be honest again
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You’ll have calm support, not sides taken
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You’ll remember what brought you together in the first place
Get in touch when you're ready
Counselling in Pretoria & Online Across South Africa
Whether you’re considering narrative counselling for the first time, booking a session for your teen, or looking for help with a family or couple dynamic, I’d love to hear from you.
If you’re not sure what you need yet, that’s okay too. Just send a message. You don’t have to have it all figured out.
- Call: 082 324 9735
- 414 Cliff Avenue, Waterkloof Ridge Ext 2, Pretoria, 0181
- Online counselling across South Africa
Last step: Press SEND. (psstttt… we just became best friends.)
This Work Is Gentle, But It Changes Lives
testimonials
Vanessa het my 18-jarige dogter met spesiale behoeftes met soveel geduld en liefde hanteer. Deur die manier wat sy werk, het sy haar vertroue ten volle gewen. Sy het absoluut ‘n passie vir wat sy doen. Baie dankie Vanessa!
Vanessa’s caring approach brought real breakthroughs. She listens with empathy, offers clear insights, and helps you make sense of difficult thoughts and emotions. Her support has not only helped me grow personally but also improved how I show up in my work and business.
Vanessa Crous Narrative Counselling
Relationship Counselling in Waterkloof Ridge, Pretoria
You don’t have to figure it out in silence. If the connection feels distant, but the care is still there, this space can hold both.
